I'm not quite sure how this realization was constructed but now it seems as though it's fucking fixated on consuming the very mind that I believed in every self destructive thought concocted sank and locked in with the roots distantly attached to relevant memories caught in a net of day dreamt escape strategies hell has frozen over and earth is caught in the heat of carbon and smother of oil so I questioned and quoted and tried to prove my thoughts asserted but now instigated and frustrated I fucking stumble as the floor boards crack and creek beneath my feet as my heart pulsates in my liver sending me ripples of quivers I fucking stumble pure consciousness floods my body with each shaky heart beat I become more aware of every bone, vessel and chemical confused and distorted attempting to get itself sorted I fucking stumble the constant shrieking delusion is now shrinking, sinking and creeping into my skull like the an immediate flush and hesitant rush of chemicals numbing me to a soft lull and From the fatal stumble suddenly now have to I fucking fall with my head smashed on the concrete plaster between the bricks of old constructed walls that vast taste of something that I have misplaced happens to be my lack of motivation and passing opportunities and obligations starting to settle from burning to ashes with this twisted twitterpated infection I frucking stumble but this time I crawl back out on my bloody shins having hit rock bottom with my bleeding bitten finger nails and crumble through these delusions; justifying every allusion still left to question what to invest my last drops of clouded belief in because I'm fed up with tripping over my own words tired of trying to be heard but coming out silent and muttered like the first chirps of a baby bird whenever I get nervous and feel tightly packed like a 2 week old factory sheep lost in their only herd disorientated and mentally isolated whilst these delusions dances in utter triumph i fucking stumble discarding my last brewed thoughts as overthinking and nit picking just lettting my final words slide out as a silent sinking mumble

from my latent understanding of what it is to be I have succumb into the madness suppressed inside of me from germination to annihilation you were here knee deep in sorrows that was planted from all of your ghastly fears oh I'm sure I just need some rest I'm positive I'm trying my best x2 this lucid dreary distortion has got the best of me the somber crestfallen of day to day activities the oblivious oppression of the subconscious mind to involuntary responses oh I'm sure I just need some rest I am positive I am trying my best x2

visualize the world through a crack in the wall why do I feel 12 feet small conclusions concluded from delusions made I am not in control of mine own brain (course mother mother I will not cry since the day I was born I was born to die brother brother I cannot fight because everything I do just never seems right ) spend all my time limping cause I forgot how to crawl why am I so terrified of everything at all stumbling trembling for the words to describe every rotten thought that is produced inside this is a note to my subconscious mind please don't tell me these rigorous lies course